Imagine my dismay when a mere acquaintance announced that my picture was on his Facebook page. I called him a liar but when he insisted I asked why. It was because I was in a picture with two others who were his friends, and now I am immortalized on that vast, never-ending Internet world.

Congress isn’t very popular right now. Everyday they are chastised for being out of control, dysfunctional, crazy. The office of president is regular fodder for late night television, even when we’re not in an election year. The one leg of government that seems to escape scrutiny on a regular basis is the Judicial.

We all know the type of kid, the one that never faces consequence or discipline. When sent to the principal’s office, it’s never their fault (the mean teacher should be blamed). They’re the kid throwing temper tantrums in the store whose parents always cave and buy them the candy.

I have a crush on Todd Palin. I know, I’ve never met the man, or even heard him speak or read more than a few trite quotes that escaped his lips. But he still makes me smile. Here is a man of the house, soccer dad, and tough as nails Iron Dog champion who races and wins — even with broken limbs.

I was 2 minutes late for class last Tuesday. I had to sit on the front row. As I worked my way up the aisle, stepping over backpacks and whacking elbows with my own bag, I couldn’t help but wonder why the only seat left was the most difficult one to get to.

I want a SmartCar because they are so freaking cute! It’s like a little golf cart with windows and a stereo (they do have stereo’s, right?). They come in colors previously found only in bags of Skittles, and I know there has to be tiny raised circles across the top with Lego embossed on them. I want one like I want world peace and six-pack abs.

Me: I’d like to introduce you to my other personality. The two of us don’t see eye to eye on the subject of general education requirements, so I have consented to share my column with her.