Hot cocoa practically flows out of the tap here in the Valley. Fruit punch prospers. Foamy root beer flourishes. Looking to get a little crazy? I hear six packs of Mountain Dew and other slightly caffeinated, non-alcoholic beverages are readily available at any of your local grocery stores with no I.D. required for purchase. But […]
I was supposed to be a French-speaking guitarist with a love for swimming by December 2009. Instead I was an English-speaking girl with no musical talent whatsoever and who swims like a stone. In other words, the resolutions I made last New Year’s Day of learning how to speak French, play the guitar, and swim […]
While millions of people across the country will overdose on turkey this Thursday (and continue to OD on leftovers for days after), many other people choose to have a gentler day of thanks. Vegetarians and vegans will replace the typical centerpiece fowl this Thanksgiving with cruelty-free fare, such as tofu turkey (or “tofurkey”), lentil or […]
While some people (OK, a lot of people) in this county attend various houses of worship (OK, one particular house of worship) each Sunday, other people find that their day of rest is a day with no church services or Munch ‘n Mingles. So what can these gentiles (I joke, I joke) do with those […]
1. Tattoo parlors and tattooed people Tattoos are older than Jesus. They’ve been around for awhile, but tattoos are still controversial at best and condemned at worst. While many disagree with tattooing and find all of it rather obnoxious, there are those that view tattooing as an art form. Tattoo artists aren’t just Joe Shmoes […]
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Rejected first lines of Herman Melville’s MOBY DICK Ishmael’s the name, sailin’ the sea is my game. Call me Ishmael, but email me at [email protected]. If you are reading this book based on the title alone, you may be disappointed to find out it’s considerably less erotic than you think. Call me Doug.
If Holden Caulfield were on Twitter, these would be his Tweets “Twitter is full of phonies, and all you do is Tweet.” “I don’t even know what I am Tweeting for – I guess I just felt like it.” “People never notice anything, much less my Tweets.” “I don’t want to Tweet anything to anybody. […]
Faces peering from behind the curtains. Shadows lurking around the corner. Footsteps on abnormally creaky stairs. A ghastly (and perhaps exhilarating) feeling that this place may, indeed, be haunted. Utah County cannot boast being home to any world famous catacombs or ancient castles once housed by a Count Dracula (or a Count Chocula for that […]
For this special Halloween installment of Karma and Meg, I was just going to copy and paste the script of a Halloween episode of Dharma and Greg, but apparently there are these wacky laws that prevent me from doing so. With my hopes of providing you with hilarious Dharma and Greg entertainment crushed, I figure […]