Top Four Books in the Lord of the Rings Trilogy
schedule 1 min read
1. THE RETUR—NO! READ ANYTHING ELSE BESIDES TOLKIEN, YOU NERD.
Top four reasons to read
schedule 1 min read
1. Reading books makes you appear intelligent and sophisticated to your good friends, cherished co-workers, and other subordinates. Kind of like smoking in front of impressionable children. 2. Reading at the library is one of the most cost effective methods of entertainment. All that money you’ll be saving means more illicit drugs in your system […]
Top four ending lines in novels
schedule 1 min read
1. Go, my book, and help destroy the world as it is. – Russell Banks, CONTINENTAL DRIFT (1985) 2. He was soon borne away by the waves and lost in darkness and distance. –Mary Shelley, FRANKENSTEIN (1818) 3. The knife came down, missing him by inches, and he took off. –Joseph Heller, CATCH-22 (1961) 4. […]
Moby Dick
schedule 1 min read
Rejected first lines of Herman Melville’s MOBY DICK Ishmael’s the name, sailin’ the sea is my game. Call me Ishmael, but email me at [email protected]. If you are reading this book based on the title alone, you may be disappointed to find out it’s considerably less erotic than you think. Call me Doug.
If Holden were on Twitter
schedule 1 min read
If Holden Caulfield were on Twitter, these would be his Tweets “Twitter is full of phonies, and all you do is Tweet.” “I don’t even know what I am Tweeting for – I guess I just felt like it.” “People never notice anything, much less my Tweets.” “I don’t want to Tweet anything to anybody. […]
Catcher In The Rye
schedule 1 min read
Calculated answers given to the posed question, “Have you ever read J.D. Salinger’s CATCHER IN THE RYE?” in chronological order. 1.In Junior High: “Is that book about baseball?” 2.In High School: “Yeah, I’ve read it like four or five times. Currently on number six.” 3.In College, Freshman year: “I haven’t read it since Jr. High.” […]
Lyons’ hat trick leads Wolverines
schedule 2 min read
Jaime Lyons scored three goals for UVU to lead the Wolverines to a convincing 4-0 victory over North Dakota in Great West Conference play. Lyons’ hat trick is the fourth in school history and the first since 2003. UVU head coach Brent Anderson said he was pleased to see Lyons play that well. “It was […]
Ultimate Comic Avengers: Mark Millar triumphantly returns to the Ultimate universe
schedule 2 min read
Hopefully, the folks in charge of The Avengers movie are paying attention to guys like Mark Millar and Carlos Pacheco. These two have put together one brain-meltingly awesome comic with Marvel’s Ultimate Comics Avengers. It’s overflowing with cinematic style action that begs to be adapted to the big screen and delivers a package that borders […]
Break out of your breakouts
schedule 2 min read
It’s that time again – halfway through the semester and it’s time for mid-terms, or for those with block classes, finals. But through this testing season, you can control your stress and the skin problems it causes. Break into good study habits and break out of your breakouts. There are many quick and affordable ways […]
Unsolicited Dating Advice
schedule 3 min read
The blind date solution Sometimes I think society assumes that since you’re single, you’re pathetic and desperate. And that, dear readers, is how the blind date got invented. You know the drill. The moment your parents, roommates, coworkers, religious representatives or distant relatives find out you’re not dating someone, it becomes their personal mission in […]