Dave Iba’s top-seven reasons you know you are at UVU and not BYU

7. Free condoms in the wellness center;

6. Naked shoulders and mini skirts;

5. You may hear beautiful, four-letter words in class;

4. You can lust after your neighbor in class (or whenever you feel like it);

3. Jesus had a beard, right?

2. Two words: Mountain Dew;

1. Have you ever heard of the Orem push? I didn’t think so.

“No man can serve two masters: for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold to the one, and despise the other. Ye cannot serve God and mammon”. -Matt 6:24.

This simple scripture from the King James Version of the Bible has so many great things about it. It even talks about BYU and UVU. Do the math, UVU: We are mammon.