How to lose a guy in ten ways
Brooke Morrill | Photo Director | @brookemorrill
Photo credit: Valerie Cheatham
There are times in life when you find yourself on dates you would rather not repeat. Boys say they want honesty if you don’t want to date them; however, girls hear boys complain when the truth is told. You may have been set up by well-meaning relatives, met on Tinder, or asked out by someone you only regard as a friend, but what happens when they ask you on a second date? Do you give this person a straight up no? Ignore them? Or go anyway just to be nice, hoping he doesn’t make a move? Or maybe, none of the above. Take action before the idea of a second date even occurs. Here’s the list of how to help your date realize you’re not the one for him. You may look crazy, but sometimes it’s worth the small sacrifice in order to get out of a date.
#1 “You’re such a good friend!”
Drop this phrase and only do lunch dates. If you treat them like a friend they’ll eventually realize that’s all you want to be.
#2 Talk about your ex-boyfriends
You’ll either appear as if you’re still in love with them or send out negative vibes that you’ll hate him just like you hate your ex.
#3 Brag about your love for Edward Cullen
Naturally slip into the conversation of how awesome you think Twilight is and that you want to marry a vampire.
#4 Name your future children within the first 30 minutes
“If…when we have children do you think Barack is a strong name for our first-born son?”
#5 Dress opposite of him
If he’s classy and mature, take it back to middle school with an N’SYNC shirt and pigtails. Dress can be a good indicator of similar tastes or major red flags.
#6 The Nickelback Offensive
Speaking of red flags, if he asks your interests in music just lay it out there and go for Nickleback. If he happens to like Nickleback, ask who he hates and go for the win and sing their songs.
#7 Speak a constant stream of thoughts
Nothing sounds more nonsensical than when girls, unsolicited, go off about everything they ate for the day, how many calories are in fro-yo, and how you want to be a Disney princess.
#8 Pray out loud over your food in public
I’m a firm believer in prayer, but praying publicly feels weird and showy when no one else is praying with you.
#9 The Janice Effect
Remember the crazy girl from F.R.I.E.N.D.S that Chandler dated? If you are able to embody Janice Litman’s laugh then you’re well on your way to being written off.
#10 #SayHashTag #BeforeEverythingYouSay
Not being able to differentiate between Twitter conversations and real life makes you look shallow. Adding hashtag hand-motions seals the deal.
If these don’t scare your suitor away, the truth of not wanting to date him won’t hurt as much as you think it will. For all the others, you will annoy them just enough to maintain a distant friendship and avoid having to make awkward phone calls that say, “I’m just not that into you.” #TheEnd