Cupid’s pressures on men

I’m just going to say it. As a married man, Valentine’s Day doesn’t mean much. To me, it’s a day to commercialize love. It’s an opportunity for Hallmark greeting cards and florists to make a pretty penny.

Although the overstocked red and pink merchandise is what I see at its surface, the commercialization isn’t what the holiday really is about. The day is there to celebrate companionship with a significant other. Personally, I believe an anniversary is more fitting to do this than this culturally recognized day.

In our patriarchal society, the men are generally deemed responsible for putting a vast amount of effort into the day’s occasion.

As the provider we are supposed to be, the men have the obligation—or privilege—of treating their wife or girlfriend especially well every February the 14th. If we drop the ball then the guilt will forever be held over our head until the next time we can make it up. Well, depending on how forgiving your other is.

Guys, if this “burden” of at least trying to make this trivial holiday a worthwhile experience for your lady is too much, then just get out of the relationship already. Even if it doesn’t mean much to you, it means at least a little more to her.

There should be a distinction between the phases of dating and of marriage as it pertains to how Valentine’s Day should be treated.

When a guy is dating a girl he has to put in a considerable amount of attention into caring for her. As you’re dating, there needs to be a constant effort to win her over. Otherwise, there is a constant threat of being kicked to the curb.

When the ring is on and the deal is done, the game changes completely. In my experience, Valentine’s Day becomes a mutual effort as scheduling, money and energy all are shared. And even more so when kids are thrown into the scenario.

Expectations must be taken into consideration. In order to know what she is expecting, size her up. This means you need to determine how “high maintenance” or “low maintenance” she is. Take my wife:  her minimal expectations is to just get her flowers. Anything over that is icing on the proverbial cake. Not all ladies are like this. They may expect more. Just know what you’re getting into.

I’m sure there will be a number of men going up and down the aisles of Wal-Mart on V-Day Eve looking for that one thing that his significant other would like. I’ve been victim of this, trust me. This is when the mistakes are made.

Cliché gifts, stay away from them. Heart shaped jewelry, heart shaped boxes of chocolates or a cute heart-holding teddy bear. But don’t take this as strict doctrine, if you verbally hear her say she wants any of these, then get it.

I warn about these because they generally take little to no effort or creativity. She isn’t looking for something sweet; that is also pretty stereotypical. Even if it’s just a simple handwritten note about how much she means to you, she’s looking for just a little more thought put into it than the other 364 days of the year.