It’s ok to be bad at golf

Yes, it’s true: Sucking at golf on purpose does make the game more fun. Why, you ask? Well, let’s face it: We all suck at playing golf anyways. Everyone who has golfed for the first time knows it, and didn’t completely disagree with their buddy who said, “Dude, you are going to swing and miss the ball at least a thousand times today.” You might know the feeling.

You know, it’s really too bad that in the game of golf there is so much pressure to do well. People are so worried about making a good impression on the people they golf with. Many golfers, believe it or not, cheat to impress other golfers because of the intense pressure to excel. That is so not classy bro.

So take a deep breath and drink a Tiger Woods Gatorade and start sucking at golf — because, well, you do. If you realize that fact, you won’t be swearing like a sailor when your ball explodes in a torpedo-like fashion after you sink it in a water hazard. Kaboom!

My advice: Dress down a bit and wear a Hawaiian T-shirt. Heck, even take off your T-shirt and get a tan. Who cares if it’s the middle of winter? Take off your shoes and socks and roll up your pants to hit the ball out of a puddle of mud. I promise your fellow golf buddies will appreciate the result. Slam or tap on the brakes while in your cart to surprise the other rider and see how loud or long you can make it screech.

Oh, and my favorite: Use your putter to chip out of the sand trap. Make it a competition. You’ll never know until you try it. Hopefully, after testing out my advice, you will soon see that golf, even though it suffers a reputation as the most boring game ever, can be the most fun game on the planet — if you just suck it up enough.

*Mega important note*

Don’t golf like a dork with people you should impress, like your boss, business partners, an apostle or your future father-in-law. Sadly, these are the only times golf truly sucks. Good golfers know you have to be on your best behavior; there’s no streaking, no cheating, no pantsing, no mulligans, no diving for balls in the pond, no swearing (which I don’t do), no changing scores, no credit cards, and absolutely no “your mom is hot” jokes. Simply put, golf is no fun with those people. You just have to accept the fact that it’s going to suck.