The healthy relationship

The way relationships are these days, it’s difficult to remember when we couldn’t wait to date. Now, we may prefer getting a root canal, minus the nitrous oxide, instead of going about the process for securing a date.

The diverse ways to meet people, through endless media outlets, has made finding a good match nearly impossible. If an individual is lucky enough to find a decent match, the simple exercise of dating has become so complex it requires a doctorate degree to navigate all the do’s and don’ts in order to find a happily ever after.

The list of to do’s reads like a recipe card. You need 1/4 cup of manners, 1/2 cup of stability and ambition, 1 cup of humor and a dash of common sense. Mix them all together and you could be an individual worth getting to know.

We try everything. The online dating sites, speed dating, set-ups and meet and greets.

It can make us a little uneasy to think that someone could know most of our personal history even before the first conversation. We’ve been given free rein to judge, criticize and admire people based on something they say in a 1000 words or less.

But there is a reason we put ourselves through all of this. We want to be in love! When you are in love, everything and everyone looks great and all is well in the world. I always know when someone is in love, because they love the whole world and want everyone else to love the whole world like they do. That is what love does.

So in order to find that special someone that will give us those types of feelings without having to enter dating rehab, there are just a few things to keep in mind.

First, relax and be yourself. A relationship can’t go anywhere if you don’t feel comfortable around each other.

Second, avoid being needy. This doesn’t mean you stop asking for help from your significant other or stop expecting emotional support. It means not constantly relying on the other person to boost your confidence or fix your problems.

We are adults and having a healthy relationship requires both individuals to contribute time and effort. If you expect your partner to always rescue you, or give you confidence, that will ultimately drain both of you.

Third, be nice to each other. If you’ve only been dating a week and are already pointing out faults—not a good sign. Make an effort to look for the good in each other and talk nice to one another.

It sounds silly, but there are many couples who say horrible things to each other and think the relationship won’t be affected. Be considerate and nice as opposed to critical and mean.

A healthy relationship isn’t perfect. There will be disagreements and annoyances, but the good days should outweigh the bad. You can have the relationship you want, and with effort and patience, it will be one that lasts.