How to not be boring

Sitting in class, grabbing lunch in the cafeteria, or riding in the parking shuttle, students are in danger of coming to a confidence-shattering conclusion: At UVU, there is a crowd. And you’re just a part of it. Standing out from the rest of the Wolverines isn’t easy — it takes work. Here are a few ways to inject dynamism into a colorless existence.

1. Pick a demographic. You can’t be interesting to everyone all the time — you’ll have to choose an audience. Pick a community that you will eventually be able to impress, perhaps those with your same major or interests.

2. Make people uncomfortable. Expand the boundaries of your audience’s daily social experience. Push conversation to a new place, by talking lightly about personal issues, taking trivialities seriously, or simply inserting the word “penis” as often as possible into conversation.

3. Be recklessly, annoyingly smart. This is where it’s important to know your audience. You have to predict what they will talk about — perhaps current events, social gossip, or industry-specific innovations. And learn everything you can about the topic. The person who knows the most and recognizes how to present information in an entertaining way is always listened to.

4. Remain an observer. Don’t get too close to those in your audience — the more they get to know you, the less of a mystery you are. Remain in society, but not of society. Stay far enough away from the crowd to recognize patterns or inconsistencies in your audience.

5. Become completely aware of and comfortable with your identity. Confidence, decisiveness, and self-awarenes, though annoying, all make a person interesting. You, as an individual, are entitled to your own unique opinions and ideas. Become comfortable presenting these aspects of yourself, without thought of those around you.

6. Do the things that others only talk about. People will look up to you if you have experienced what they wish they had. Recognize fear and hesitance as a burden, and free yourself of it.

7. Become a storyteller. Recognize the potential significance of every situation, and learn how to make a story about a simple trip to the grocery store interesting. If you’re not good at public speaking, this will take practice.

8. Be aware of the present. The past and future are intangible and boring. Keep your eyes on what is happening right now, and you’ll instantly become more interesting.

9. Be interested. This is one of the most important and least annoying ways to become interesting. If you care about people, they’re more likely to care about you.